Goodbye 2010 !!! (By Nury)

Thank you, readers, for tall the amazing letters this year.  Yesterday, I got one in which a reader told me that Canadian couple had asked the Facebook community to name their baby.  I just hope the little girl doesn’t mind growing up with the name ‘Poke Me’.

Nothing surprises me any more.  This has been weirdest year for ages, at least 12 months.  As the end of 2010 approaches, your humble narrator is feeling philosophical, or, to be honest, bone idle.

So, instead of thinking up anything new, let’s fill this space with a look back at some of the top new stories of the year.

• A  new global study finds that Chinese students rank first in education.  China’s President Hu Jin-tao comments: “Aw shoot, not more Nobel Prizes!”

• US authorities tell New York City taxi drivers to watch out for scary-looking potential terrorist bombers types.  Dozens of drivers immediately arrest themselves.

• A lethal death cloud from an Icelandic volcano causes panic among air passengers in Europe.  Asian travelers are unperturbed, saying: “In Asia, we already have a lethal death cloud.  We call it The Air.”

• A video of Miley Cyrus smoking a bong appears on the Internet.  Disney changes the name of her children’s TV series from Hannah Montana to Higher Montana.

• Google moves its services out of China after getting fed up of the censorship.  Chinese leaders organize a party to celebrate, but no one can find the venue without Google Maps.

• A biography by Rolling Stones’ Keith Richards lists details of his birth and rise to fame, but readers complain it fails to answer the two most obvious questions: “When did he die?” and “What does it feel like to be a member of the Walking Dead?”

• New US airport procedures mean passengers must choose between being photographed naked or grope by a person in uniform.  Everyone complains except for George Michael, who offers to pay extra for both.

• The sex imbalance in parts of Asia has become critical, with millions of women missing,  United Nations demographers report.  The women are later discovered in Charlie Sheen’s hotel bedroom.

• Paul, the German octopus who predicted the winners of the World Cup games, dies suddenly.  A new octopus is given the name Paul, while the old one is renamed Fried Calamari with Cracked Pepper.

• Riots break out in Paris after the government raises the retirement age to 62.  Protesters wanted it left unchanged at 23.

• Peta, an animal welfare group, offers to pay Lindsay Lohan’s rehab bills if she becomes a vegan.  Lindsay says she wants to check which drinks contain meat before agreeing.

Yes, that was the crazy year that just passed.  But if you are reading this,  it means that you and I survived.  Thank God for small mercies.  Next year will be even crazier.  I know this is true because I heard it from a suspiciously  familiar-looking portion of imported frozen calamari.